i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize