...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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