I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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