We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
