Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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