you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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