So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
