And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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