were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
oh god was she eating orange peels again
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
