When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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