Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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