you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
so much tequila, so little girl.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
