She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
