Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
