its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
you inspire me to be a worse person
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize