To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i now understand why vodka
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
