Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
