I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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