My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I think im going to throw up on grandma
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
