margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize