i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
