If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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