its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
