Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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