to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
