No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
