im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
