The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
