I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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