Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
