Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
