I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
