my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize