And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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