I want to walk on stilts...naked
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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