What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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