We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
