I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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