My Higher Power is John Stamos
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
