i was born a porn star she said
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize