That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
