I looked at my own cervix.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
