I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
