How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
