Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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