There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
