don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
