I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
