There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
