Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
