I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
