need another drink. this is the easiest way
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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