I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
