I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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