yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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