addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
