maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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