Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
