I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Mom said you looked used
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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