that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
