Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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