White coat. Heels.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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