I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
