He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
whose parrot is this?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
