You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
operation have a gay friend backfired
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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