I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
